Change - be it change in environment, changing belief patterns, changing friends, careers, a home - the list goes on - can be difficult and stressful. As humans, we are creatures of habit and those habits can be many and various! Effective stress management skills can come in handy in these circumstances.
Change seems to be more difficult when it involves accepting an option that appears to be a drop in status or lowering of standards to what we have been accustomed to or would prefer.
Even positive change can be stressful
I say “seems” deliberately. It can be easy to look at change as involving some loss. This can be the case even in what society deems as positive change such as change of relationship status. For instance, even though marriage may be seen by some as positive change – a joyful event – it can also involve the stress of loss and adapting to new circumstances including identity. This may be loss of freedom to enjoy other relationships, loss of financial freedom, loss of living space, loss of time to one self or with friends and so on.
What values are important?
Whether there is an overall perception of loss or benefit depends on values. This bit can be tricky. Identifying personal values as against societal values or family of origin values can be confusing sometimes. It is important to identify what your personal values are so that you can be true to yourself. “To thine own self be true” is an important motto to follow. If you end up making decisions based on what you think will please someone else, it could have undesirable results.
It is often difficult to differentiate between our own values and those that have been adopted from family, friends and co-workers. If we have been brought up in an environment where our ideas and opinions have been silenced, then often it is difficult to even know our own minds. Our sense of “Self” has been lost somewhere in childhood. This often leads to a tendency to comply with the wishes and opinions of others because to do otherwise may result in disapproval, ridicule or punishment of some sort.
Often what we believe is important isn’t really so when we take a long, hard look at the consequences of any action we are contemplating taking or not taking. That may sound like a riddle. However, taking no action sometimes can lead to dire consequences when action is required. Similarly taking the wrong action can also lead to trouble. So how do we know what is right action? How do we know if change is necessary and what changes are appropriate?
A matter of money
One example that comes to mind is financial circumstances. With the global financial crisis still having an impact on a lot of people, mortgage repayments are proving difficult if not impossible for some. Loss of income, loss of shares, often involves difficult decisions when it comes to managing mortgage repayments or credit card debt. Will a second job solve the problem? Will re-financing create relief and for how long? Or is it time to sell the family home and downsize? Financial stress can lead to compromised health and relationships. Sometimes seeking help through counselling can relieve this stress and lead to optimal decision making.
For help on handling the stress of change call Christine or Emily on 61 418 226 961.
